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Looking back ten years, I'm still where I started. Maybe worse.

My job is nothing but a mundane grind.

Taken for granted like a fool.

Because I was stupid enough to put my work before myself.

My relationship is nothing but a farce.

Taken for granted like an idiot.

Because I am a fucking doormat with no spine.

My finances are in total shambles.

Covered in debt with no end.

Because I am a moron with no self-restrain.



My life is nothing but a shell.

A hollow vessel merely passing each day.

Because I am a retard who squandered a great hand.



 I wish my parents could have had a better son.

Instead of this pathetic waste of space.

I loathe the person I see daily in the mirror.

Lyn - Beneath the Mask

Scream

I need a Misaki to save me.

It was a desperate plea.

Yet she took no notice.

It was a stupid attempt to begin with.

This mistake shall forever haunt me now.



Is there an exit from this mess?

There is no end in sight.

I orchestrated my own undoing.

Just like I sealed myself to this fate.



I am a failure.

But above all, I am a fucking coward.

Makino Yui - Modokashii Sekai no Ue de

Megiddo

Amateur drawings from Pixiv sometimes have their own charm

The hour of beckoning draws near.

This might be the final straw that breaks the camel's back.

Perhaps I should have foreseen this.

Maybe I have been on borrowed time.



The end does not scare me.

I am a firm believer in signs.

It is not the looming tip of Mt Megiddo that haunts me.



What kills me is not feeling anything much at all.

Whiteeeen - あの頃~ジンジンバオヂュオニー~

Grey

Even my tastes have changed, I'm now a hopeless Coffee addict.

It's been a long while since I last posted here.

Maybe I'm just used to the flow by now.

 Am I justified not wanting to be treated like a mat

Or am I asking for too much?




The years have washed by like a summer shower.

My life nearly ended.

This painful loneliness, which I thought had passed me by,

Is now back to visit.



It's been a long while my friend.

Can't say I've missed you,

But there's a certain nostalgic familiarity in your scent.

癒月 - you -2014再ミックス Thanksyou Ver.-

本

Fujoshi Kanojo is awesome. 

Reading it is depressing though. Perhaps even more than NHK.

Memories of days long gone float to the surface. Days I can no longer return to.



Seasons change. Things change. People change.

Is it only natural to yearn for something fonder?

Or is it a trick of the mind?



Merry Christmas.

It's a lonely one for me indeed.

陳奕迅 - Lonely Christmas

Blue Skies High

I wanna throw my arms out like that too D:

It's nice having things to do, they serve as a temporary anesthetic for more painful matters.

Surprisingly the things which should be hurting me aren't killing me as fast as I thought they would.

Maybe I'm getting immune D:

Passport and I/C settled today.

Now all I need is to go Jusco and get myself a labcoat.

Hmm, I think I should nao :D

Bonnie Pink - Kane o narashite

雨

あなたは今どこで何をしてますか？

 

Cryptic messages I am familiar with, but composing them is new to me.

A shattered mirror can be easily rebuilt, if all the fragments are gathered.

Continue breaking them and eventually you might not find all the fragments.

Some things get lost in speech. Others don't.

Only scars will never fade away.

Taking a stroll in the rain is awesome.

A hot shower following that feels even better.

The company I strived to search for is no where to be found.

The comfort I once had is starting to run cold.

The solace that is my solidarity is the only thing that remains true.

Kokia - Say Goodbye & Good day